It's funny how life's like that, huh?

I don't want us to drift apart. Just promise me we won't, okay? Promise me we won't.

I've been feelin` different these past few days. Last week wasn't exactly all right. So-so. It just felt like a blur. Yeah, things are a lot different now. Just don't have the slightest idea if it's bad different or good.

And the perfect word to describe me? Irresponsible.

Because that's all I've ever been these days. And let me tell you, it doesn't feel right. Not one bit. It feels like everyone's doin` the right thing and I'm bumming around, not doin` anything. It feels stupid. I feel stupid.

I miss you, Brooke. I hope you know that. I miss you. & if you could only hear me now. I really miss you, big time.

Dear God,

Please help me understand. I know it's not wrong to ask for your help. Hindi naman 'to masama diba? So please, help me understand.

The fact that Bianca Stella Burayag [I asked Isabel. HAHA] Bueno is so effin` good in speakin' the friggin` English language just makes me wanna shut down this so-called foresaken blog for the nth time.

I so effin` envy you right now.

All the while I thought that only ERF's were due tomorrow. Whoops, my bad. Syempre imposibleng isang requirement lang para bukas, STC pa. I went online only to find out that, of course, there are a lot [and I mean, a lot] of things to do for tomorrow and here I've been, dilly-dallying all afternoon.

Oh joy.

I feel like I've let go of it all, y'know?. I mean, it's like I'm so fed up of trying that even with school and my studies, I've stopped. I don't know why I can't motivate myself to work harder, or try again or to just even make an effort. I have no idea why it doesn't bother me anymore if I submit late or do mediocre homeworks. I don't know why the hell I've stopped caring.

And I hate this feeling of not trying hard enough. I hate the fact that I can't find it in me to work a little harder and be that version of me I once was. I mean, I used to stay up late everyday just to finish e v e r y friggin` homework. I used to study for e v e r y friggin` quiz and I used to embrace sleeping at 3AM because for me it meant that I actually did the job rather than convince myself that so long as I'd done something, that was enough.

I used to be good at this.

Then why did it all just stop?

I need to feel something, anything. I need to feel like I still have hope. I need to find something that'll make me function again. Because failure isn't working for me, and being this mediocre student isn't doin` me any good either. I don't wanna be this version of me. I wanna wake up and see that I can do better. Because I used to be better, better than this.

Nah, it's not a hiatus. I'm so over those.

I've abandoned my Multiply, if yer wondering. I might get back to it after everything's done. Y'know. High school & all. I guess when summer's almost up. Everything's too dramatic right now. & see, drama's just plain overrated na. Ayoko na ng ganito. :]

Dear God,

Please grant me the patience and understanding to accept the things I cannot understand. Please give me the strength to put up with everything. Please help me to remember that You're always here for me & that they're always here too. I know they are. & though I may not understand why that happened or why she had to do that, I know that you'll help me try. Because as much as I wanna be okay with everything that went on.. somehow in my heart I know I'm still not. So please, God, help me to be that person. The one that understands, and is always there despite everything.. because I don't know how to be that person anymore. Not when I know that I won't get the same treatment back. It's too hard. It's too hard to need them and know that they don't need you back. Someday God, I'll understand. Because I know you have a plan for me & that you're only doin` this because you love me. I love you, back. You know that, right?

Always, Anne ♥

I cannot get over Dante's Inferno & that is the truth. The irony in all of this? I have no time to read it.

34 days in counting. 34 days 'til it's all over. 34 days left. What's the catch? We have a ton of homework, lotsa projects due, a hell load of quizes to take up, and OH, not to mention a killer final exam. So what's 34 days you ask? A NIGHTMARE.

It's been the 3rd day of my Hello 3AM phase. I haven't had much sleep yet since Monday and as far as I'm concered, no sleep does you no good. No good at all. It makes multiplication seem hard. Imagine what Erica thought when I asked her what comes after the multiplication part. "..Anne, iaadd mo."

Ganyan kasabaw 'pag Trigo.

Want more? No more. Manood na lang tayo ng Wowowee!

OOPS. Almost forgot.

THIS IS HOW WE ROLL, BABY ♥

&& I know you can tell, I just love `em :]

Vanity takes the stress away! The Gwapos Forever ♥